Year 1984
Sunday, 1st January 1984
Mass Fr. Armand.
Sick in bed.
Visit from the doctor, injection.
Moral crisis.
Monday 2 January 1984
Mass Fr. Armand.
Visit from the doctor, injection
Moral crisis, darkness.
– Jesus: “My Beloved is in pain, we have heard her.” Tuesday,
3 January 1984
Mass, Fr. Guy
During the Eucharist :
– Jesus : “My dear little host of love, the tears that you are shedding abundantly on your sins, on the sins of humanity and for consecrated souls are becoming more and more an ocean of love and of mercy.”
Tuesday, 4 January 1984
Mass, Fr. Guy.
– Jesus: “My dear little host of love, I need you, your loving kisses to honor my wounds. The injuries that I am receiving each day from my consecrated souls are intolerable : especially when they give the sacraments in the state of sin. My Precious Blood is falling uselessly on these souls. By their refusal to obey and by their pride they are closing the door to grace and are not drawing upon themselves my mercy and blessings.”
Friday 6 January 1984
Mass, Fr. Guy and Fr. Armand.
Wednesday 18 April 1984
– Mimi: Since Sunday, I have been living the agony of the heart, the soul, and the spirit.
– Mimi: “Each day, I have the joy of receiving you. With what faith, what love, what generosity my spiritual sons come and celebrate the Eucharist in order to give me the strength and courage to continue the journey you have traced for me from all eternity.
“My Beloved, I would have liked so much to be continually near you, to follow you step by step on your way to the cross. How I would like to hold you in my arms, kiss your forehead, wipe your tears, tell you how much I love you. But, Father most Holy, may your Will be done and not mine.
“My soul is sad in the darkness where I am. I am unable to pray, to meditate. All that comes to my mind are moments of rebellion and despair at the sight of my poor life that I consider useless, full of misery.
“In the presence of this state of my soul, my enemy is near me to destroy me, telling me that I am lost, that there is no redemption for me, that I belong to him forever, that my sins are so numerous that I can no longer hope for the mercy of God.”
– Satan: “Because the blood of Jesus is useless for a damned soul like yours. You have taken advantage of grace and the sacraments. Your whole life is made up of lies.
You are living simply the way you wanted, but God is rejecting you more and more. Your only hope is in despair and to end your life. You are on the last lap of your life and I am pleased for you will soon be with me forever.
“We have waited such a long time for this moment. It is a great pleasure for us to receive a soul that wanted to serve an invisible God; to love this unknown God, to believe that you are priest and victim, to believe in your mission that is but an illusion, that the Alliance is only on the surface of the flesh and not in depth. Only Mary had the privilege of carrying in her heart, her soul, her body the sufferings of her Son. The joy for us is as great as when we receive a consecrated soul.”
– Mimi: “My Beloved, where are you? I so want to hear your voice and it is the evil one who seems to want to replace you.”
– Mimi: “My God, hear my prayer, in spite of the state of my soul. I want to believe in you, in your infinite mercy. My God, I lift up my voice, sustain me, sustain my faith. I have lost hope in your forgiveness and yet from the depths of my soul, I want to believe.
“Today, my spiritual son, Fr. Guy, at the moment of communion presented me with Jesus. I am unable to receive for I did not have this desire for communion and faith in his presence. Fr. Guy, my spiritual counsellor, said to me : ‘Make an act of faith’. Even with Jesus present in me, there was emptiness. I was convinced that I had committed a sacrilege; this increased my despair. I am weeping as I think and write about this.
“I am like a blind person, without light, not even a glimmer of hope : this tunnel is endless and with no way out, this death in the soul that no one can understand without a special grace that I do not have. My God, I do want to believe, to love you, increase my faith in moments of temptation. Give me the strength to thank you.”
19 April 1984
Holy Thursday
– Mimi: After a terrible night, I am able, by the grace of God, to get up.
– Mimi: “I want to be close to you more and more my Beloved Jesus. Yes, I want to walk with you. Thank you for giving me the desire to serve, to share a little in your sufferings.
“In spite of the state I am in, I could feel in the depths of my soul a bit of happiness. To my great surprise, my two spiritual sons, Fr. Guy and Fr. Armand came by to pray with me in your little sanctuary recently renovated : painted in white, the adornment in the little sanctuary is in blue, the furniture is white and blue, a marian color. In the center, the altar, in the form of a chalice as requested by the Father, on the altar is the statue of Our Lady of the Blessed Sacrament.
“On this Holy Thursday, 19th of April 1984, it was the first time that the little monstrance was placed on the altar in the presence of Jesus.
“Before this real presence of Jesus, we adored, thanked and contemplated for several hours. Then, my two spiritual sons, Fr. Guy and Fr. Armand blessed and dedicated the little sanctuary to the Eternal Father : the dream of P. J. Gamache s.j. deceased. He was my first spiritual director, 1948 to 1966.
“One day, when I was suffering after spending a long time in Notre-Dame Hospital where I had undergone an operation for my spine, I was lying in my little room that is now our little sanctuary. After thanksgiving, Fr. Gamache told me : ‘You know, Mimi, your bed will one day be your cross on which you will be attached, with Jesus, as an offering to the Father; and then, this little room will become a sanctuary.’
“Knowing from an interior voice that there was no church on earth, not even a small chapel, dedicated to the Eternal Father (spiritual notes), and wanting to obey the desire of the Father, and for this reason, we called it the Sanctuary of the Eternal Father in order to render homage to the Father and make Him known by spreading the prayer to the Eternal Father inspired by the Holy Spirit (spiritual notes).
“After moments of silence in adoration before the real presence of Jesus, all three of us renewed our vow of total giving to the Father with the prayer of total giving. Then, they renewed their sacerdotal commitment. In this gesture of faith in their priesthood, they thanked God for choosing them out of pure gratuity. How small they feel in the presence of this great mystery of love and mercy!”
– Mimi: “Ô most holy Father and Beloved Jesus, twenty years ago you had entrusted them to me in prayer, to sustain them in their priesthood, so that they might become holy priests.”
– Jesus: “Yes, my Beloved, with your role as mother, you also had to give birth to twin priests. It is for this reason that we chose them. To help you in your mission and to lead you where we wish you to be with me, on the same cross, to glorify our Father with all the souls that I entrust to you, especially consecrated souls.
“Thank you, dear children of the Father and of Mary Immaculate, for your offering as Priest and Victim with me, to glorify our Father and for the spiritual renewal of consecrated souls, and for humanity : thank you for the Te Deum and the Magnificat. Mary Immaculate wept for joy in hearing you sing her praises with children’s hearts. Always remain very little in our powerful arms.
“Thank you, my Beloved for sustaining the Holy Father John Paul II. As spiritual mother of the Holy Father, you will have to suffer a lot. You must help him carry this heavy cross of responsibilities. My Beloved, the more you will be a victim with me, the more you will be at the heart of the Church : this Church that is suffering from the devastating effects of a lack of faith in certain consecrated souls.
“How many priests no longer believe in my real presence in the Eucharist. How can they believe in their priesthood, in prayer, in the accomplishment of their duties! Poor priests, how they wound me even more! Each time a priest celebrates the Holy Sacrifice of the mass in the state of sin, he renews, by himself, all my sufferings : my agony, my scourging and my death. Pray a lot for these priests, and intercede often by asking forgiveness and mercy.”
– Mimi: “My Beloved, how I would like to console you, to console the Eternal Father and Mother Mary. What more do you want me to do.”
– Jesus: “My Beloved, offer me all your physical and moral sufferings, your temptations, that nothing may be lost.”
– Mimi: “Thank you, my God, for telling me and allowing me to see the importance of temptations. Thank you for inviting me to pray with you tonight.”
20 April 1984
Good Friday
Prayer of total giving.
– Mimi: “My Beloved, this is a great day. I could no longer pray during the night, my heart was too heavy. I was thinking about the pain of our gentle heavenly Mother and of your sufferings and death. I would have wanted to die in your place. You know, my Beloved Jesus, you did not deserve to die and you accepted it out of love for us, for me.
“You were asking me, during the night, not to leave you by yourself. You can see, Beloved Jesus, that I am no better than your apostles. I was able to keep you company until three in the morning. Poor Jesus, I am so weak and little in following you, forgive me.
“Awake at six o’clock. Thank you for placing on my head your crown of thorns. Yes, these thorns that I allow to penetrate deeply through my sins, my doubts, my lack of confidence after all you have given me out of pure gratuity. Why, Beloved Jesus, after so many signs of your merciful love, am I still searching for you?”
Friday 5 May 1984
Today is a day of prayer, of silent retreat in the sanctuary of the Eternal Father, in your dwelling.
Even before learning that the Immaculate Virgin was asking in her apparitions in Yougoslavia to fast, to pray, my spiritual director, Fr. Armand asked me that each Friday be a day of prayer, of atonement, of fasting, bread and water and sometimes total fasting. We were pleased that the Immaculate Virgin asked this from the seers of Yougoslavia and souls of good will. It isn’t always easy.
– Mimi: “My Beloved Jesus, what is going on in my soul? I am in darkness and this dryness is hurting me. My director, Fr. Armand asked me whether I wanted to receive the sacrament of penance each week, on Friday if possible. My enemy is raging, I am troubled, everything is dark and I am choking, I am lacking this oxygen of your love. I tried to explain this to my director, I couldn’t find the words; how I hate myself, and all that is within me. I have the impression of being rejected by God since he rejects lukewarm souls.”
– My director tells me: “The only thing you must detest is sin. And Jesus has never rejected anyone, on the contrary, he came to save us.” With this opposition between my director and the evil one, I was somewhat paralyzed. It was really the agony of the soul with all its doubts, I did not even feel this hope of being forgiven. Jesus was so distant and was rejecting me forever.”
– Mimi: “Jesus, you who are truth itself, he who walks with you is not in darkness : you who are the light , the life, the truth. Why so many years of moral and physical sufferings that end in damnation. My soul is wounded, why is he leaving me in this state of total abandonment. This pain in my head that you told me that I was sharing your crown of thorns was but an illusion; and yet, this suffering is really physically present.”
– Satan: “Poor little girl, you are walking in a dream. You so want to identify yourself with this Jesus that you pretend suffering physically when he is not even present in you. Why would God with his power need a damned soul to follow him? I repeat to you that you will die in my hands.
“After so many years of struggles, do you think that I am going to let you go, especially since you have this Alliance embedded in your flesh. It amuses me a lot when you honor this Alliance wih this prayer, for you are in error with your two blind priests : two naive priests looking for the marvellous in you. When they discover your game, they will abandon you like God is doing today.
“The number two embedded in your flesh is nothing but the sign that I am in you, as present as God could be. Our two powers are meeting. You are there, defenseless, and it is the stronger one who will be the final victor.”
My director asks me to make an act of faith and to confess myself. In the sacrament of penance I no longer see the priest before me. It is always to Jesus that I uncover my sins, my miseries, my poverty.
I ask him to forgive me for not understanding everything and not trusting him in these situations. How I would like to be like Mary Magdalene at the feet of Jesus; I weep and wait for forgiveness from his priest.
If certain priests could understand and believe in their priesthood, the presence and identification with Jesus crucified, a priest would never allow himself to doubt. But if only priests would meditate more often on the passion and kiss the crucifix with faith and confidence in God Priest and Victim, the Eternal Priest, to glorify God the Eternal Father!
– Jesus: “Indeed, my Beloved, how many graces are lost among certain consecrated and religious souls. Because spiritual pride has replaced humility, how many are satisfied with their prayers, their words, the work they are doing on their own. This personal search, with a false humility, is an open door to spiritual pride through which the evil one enters with pleasure to distance the soul from prayer, meditation, silence, contemplation.
“How can a proud soul meditate on Jesus crucified? How can a soul that loves to talk uselessly, with at times frivolous words, contemplate and understand the humility and silence of Jesus and Mary?
“My Beloved, where are my priests who really want to follow me on the royal road of the Cross?
Where are those who want to serve me by remaining faithful to their priesthood?
Where are those who want to love me, console me?
Where are those who have faith in my representative on earth, the Holy Father John Paul II?
“Many don’t want to obey,and have no respect for the demands of the Holy Father when he speaks to consecrated souls : to make a choice and to witness to their sense of belonging to the Church and to Jesus, by wearing a distinctive sign. All priests who do not wear a distinctive sign as demanded by our representative on earth, Pope John Paul II, are in a state of disobedience, are not drawing blessings upon themselves and are giving a bad example to the faithful : they will be held accountable for this.The same reproach goes for religious sisters.
“My Beloved, you know that we often weep. There is such disorder in my Church that has cost my Precious Blood and the blood of martyrs. Why is there such indifference? Why is there such contempt, even among some of my consecrated souls? Why destroy instead of build? There is devastation everywhere, even your temples are no longer places of respect, of prayer. Every human reason is possible for closing the doors to the faithful who want to encounter me, to visit me in my sacrament of love, to console me and intercede.
“The evil one has set a trap and some have fallen into it; the fear of being stolen. Poor senseless ones, they steal from me the presence and prayers of faithful souls who want to console me, to adore me. What would these souls say if when they come before me we would close our door?
“On the cross, I opened my heart out of love, to welcome those who were thirsting for my Precious Blood. At each mass, I renew this invitation to my children, that is, to the children of God. My Beloved, many will have to answer for their actions. Certain bishops, priests, religious are responsible for the decline of faith among the people of God.
“In some areas, the bishop has only the title because he is not fulfilling the mission he received : the first responsibility being to direct the people of God towards this Church, in the authenticity of its doctrine, in its clarity, purity and truth. Yes, lead all these children towards the unity of christians, in one single love, that is Jesus Christ.
“Many priests of good will are disconcerted by the lack of attention from certain authorities. Priests are no longer able to expose their case to their bishop. When I was the authority, I was available to everyone; the little ones, the important ones, sinners, the sick. I went towards those who needed me most. I came on earth to serve. They have the same mission, but don’t want to serve, only when it is profitable.”
Friday 11 May 1984
– Mimi: Day of prayer. I would have liked to begin my day by praying in your little sanctuary to the Eternal Father, but circumstances did not allow me to, having a lot of work.
– Mimi: “Thank you, my Beloved, for always helping me, for sustaining me, for carrying me in your arms to accomplish this work. Without your grace, I wouldn’t even have the physical strength.”
Friday 8 june 1984
Visit of Daniel Ange with Fr. Guy and Fr. Armand.
A very warm welcome.
He is really a man of God.
Wednesday 26 june 1984
– Mimi: A memorable day for us.
We prayed a lot to prepare the feast of the Precious Blood of Jesus and also the 2nd … (Anniversary of the Alliance).
Sunday 8 July 1984
– Mimi: In an exchange with my Beloved, I asked him, on the 69th anniversary of my birth, that I be totally forgotten by my parents and people. I want to be detached from everyone and everything, and also from myself. “However, ô Eternal Father, may your Holy Will be done in every way.”
A few hours after this request, the phone rang very early with wishes for a happy birthday. Then, friends brought flowers, gifts, cards, money with masses for my intentions. And the whole day was spent answering phone calls and receiving people until midnight.
In spite of all this, my prayer was answered. Two members of my family offered their wishes in the evening, and this family is made up of at least 50 persons; brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces.
– Mimi: “Thank you, my God, for making me understand a little how much you suffer when I allow myself to be distracted and forget at times that you are present in this Alliance. Render me attentive to grace and to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit in order to always obey and accept your most Holy Will.”
On this occasion, my director gave me the sacrament of penance and the sacrament of the sick after 63 years of sickness. What memories! At 6 years of age, after my first communion, Jesus began to make me walk along the way of the cross. I did not understand all the importance of these physical and moral sufferings. However, in the deepest region of my little heart, I would weep for not loving Jesus enough and for having offended him with my sins. For me, what I felt in the presence of my sins, would become a serious sin. I experienced very young these agonies of the soul in which all seems lost, and I felt rejected by God. With the least imperfection, the evil one…
Tuesday 10 July 1984
– Mimi: The day of my baptism. A memorable day, already 69 years since God accepted me as his child, a child of Mary. I have a great devotion to the Precious Blood of Jesus. It gives me great pleasure to have been born during the month consecrated to his Precious Blood.
Friday 20 July 1984.
Friday : My God, do with me what you will.
The presence of Cécile and Régine.
Saturday 1st December 1984
– Mimi: “My Beloved, I do want to obey my director by writing down our exchanges, but you are hiding! What must I do? It’s like asking a blind person to write.”
– Jesus: “My Beloved, you are right on! The expression is well chosen! This is exactly the state of your soul, blinded by your preoccupations. I also at times am blinded by the love I have for you, in spite of your behavior, in the presence of the will of our Father. I am always present in the Alliance.
I know that you don’t understand the whole extent of this commitment in the service of the Eternal Father and of the Church. My Beloved, the Church needs your physical and moral sufferings. The Holy Father John Paul II has an urgent need of being sustained by constant prayer from his spiritual mother. Think also of your spiritual sons, your spiritual children, the souls that I entrust to you; especially consecrated souls.
I want them all to be holy : holy in their actions, in their souls, in their hearts, in the accomplishment of their ministry, holy with souls I entrust to them, holy in their prayers and offerings.”
Sunday 2 December 1984
– Mimi: “Most Holy Father, I beg you, come to my aid, the state of my soul is in agony; all these doubts against the faith, this fear of suffering in all that you are asking, to be identified to Jesus crucified.
However, my Beloved Jesus, you know that in spite of my weakness, with your grace, I want to follow you to the cross in a total abandonment of my will to the Holy Will of our Father to glorify Him.
Upon the advice of my director, Fr. Armand, I want to thank you :
- Thank you for the temptations,
- Thank you for my doubts,
- Thank you for my weakness,
- Thank you for this agony of the soul,
- Thank you for this darkness,
- Thank you for what you are doing in my soul during these trials in which you are purifying me,
- Thank you for listening to my complaints,
- Thank you for the phone call I would have liked to receive from my director to help me,
- Thank you for allowing me to feel alone, abandoned,
- Thank you for everything that I don’t understand.”
– Jesus: “My Beloved, it is my turn to say thank you. Like my divine Mother, my gentle heavenly Mother, accept everything in your soul, in your heart by saying constantly, thank you. In spite of this abandonment that you are feeling, this rejection that takes hold of your mind, this interior rebellion, be assured that we are looking upon you with love. Never, never doubt that I am present in an invisible manner in your suffering, by the Alliance that I embedded in your flesh. Yes, this pact of love in suffering, two in one flesh, is a unique event on earth.
“My Beloved, these hours of agony that you are going through at this moment, allows you to experience total giving in its fullness. For your mission, you must sustain the Holy Father John Paul II and consecrated souls. My Precious Blood was shed for all humanity. Your sufferings must be continually offered, night and day, united to the sacrifice offered to the Eternal Father through Mary Immaculate, for the Church, for the sanctification of consecrated souls and for the needs of all humanity.”
Evening.
– Mimi: “Thank you, Beloved Jesus, thank you Eternal Father for allowing your divine Son to come and immolate himself once more in your dwelling. It is in the little sanctuary dedicated to the Eternal Father that we can pray, meditate and contemplate in silence.”
– Jesus: “Thank you, my Beloved for giving us shelter in your soul, in your dwelling. I should rather say the dwelling of the Eternal Father where our two privileged sons are offering themselves to us as priests and victims at each Eucharist to glorify the Eternal Father with my Precious Blood and the offering of Mary Immaculate.”
Monday 3 December 1984
– Mimi: “My God, please give me the strength and courage to get up and accomplish your holy adorable will. I feel extremely weak.
“Mother Mary, it is near you, near your motherly heart that I want to cuddle up. I need you so badly to help me accept the Holy Will of our Father.
“My gentle heavenly Mother, I beg you, protect me from my enemy, from his tricks, his snares. Give me your hand, I don’t want to fall, I don’t want to lose you for a single moment. Without Jesus, without you, I can do nothing. Ask the Holy Spirit for me to sustain me. In spite of this dryness, I want to believe. Increase my faith, the courage to fight back temptations. Grant me, please, perseverance in my resolutions.
“My Beloved Jesus, I don’t ask to understand everything, it is way above my little intelligence. Everything is so huge, so full of the mystery of love. I ask myself : ‘Is all this happening to me? All that I am receiving out of pure gratuity? Why so many signs of love, of mercy towards a poor sinner?’
“Each day, I see again my poor life full of misery, and I weep. Beloved Jesus, I no longer want to offend you! And when I look at all the evil in the world, I suffer feeling at times guilty for my lack of generosity, of penance. It is a duty of charity to pray for my neighbor.
“My God, do not allow a single soul to commit sin, or die in the state of sin because I neglected to pray for him. Do not allow your Precious Blood to fall uselessly on souls.”
– Jesus: “My Beloved, if consecrated souls and the faithful prayed this way, how many souls would be saved by the act of charity and love for ones neighbor through my Precious Blood.”
Tuesday 4 December 1984
– Mimi: “My Beloved, where are you, I am looking for you? I beg you, come to my aid. I don’t even have the strength to cry out to you. I am weeping like a child who has lost all that was most beautiful in the world, at this time when I need you to help us prepare the feast of the Immaculate Conception.
“My two spiritual sons are helping me a lot with their prayers, the celebration of the Eucharist, their advice. But in the state of soul I am in, I don’t believe all that they tell me. However, I would like to believe. This attitude makes me suffer.”
W E D N E S D A Y 5 D E C E M B E R 1984
– Mimi: “My Beloved, I still dare call you, my Beloved. Yet, of this union, of this intimacy, what is left? I make an act of the will to look at our Alliance, and each time, I’m afraid of making a mistake. I tremble before what represents the Alliance.”
– Satan: “Poor little girl, why be afraid of my work within you. I have what I want. To keep you with me for all eternity.”
– Mimi: “I think I’m going crazy. Who is speaking to me? My Beloved, is it you or my enemy? I have no more discernment : why are you leaving me in such darkness? Each day, I feel myself falling into this abyss that I have before my eyes. Why struggle and lose everything? I feel no need to live this way : for 69 years I have been suffering morally, spiritually and physically. I have the impression that my whole life is wasted as I await losing heaven, if there is one!
“Why did I believe? Why be hopeful? Why believe in the real presence within me? If God were there, he would help me understand.
“I cannot write all this interior rebellion, but out of obedience, I must, this makes me hate my director and my counsellor. Why is my heart so hard! I hate myself. How I would like to leave and never return! And yet, I am afraid to die and of judgment. Why must I, in spite of everything, say ‘thank you’,according to the advice from my director! I cannot deceive God.”
– Satan: “My little girl, God has rejected you for such a long time, why do you still want him? He can do nothing for you because you took advantage of his graces. All the facade of your life was prayer and acceptance, but now, all is desolation and rejection.”
Thursday 6 December 1984
– Mimi: Another stormy day. If I could believe that these days, these trials, this agony is agreeable to God and that it is really his will! Before, in moments of trials, there remained a small ray of hope, but today, I have nothing, I see nothing, I understand nothing.
To live this way is folly. What is going on in me? Is it pure folly? Or a depression? Or an acceptance of being damned? I no longer have any reason to live in error.
– Satan: “My dear little one, you have finally understood, you have only to accept this verdict coming from God. If there had been a single reason to forgive you, he would have done so. On the contrary, he gives me the freedom to act within you. You only have to look at the Alliance which is of your making. Your spiritual sons did their best to help you by praying. Even the celebration of the Eucharist, the sacraments that you received convinced me.
“Why did God show you in a mirror, during mass, the place you had next to the enemies of God? Why did you hear the Virgin tell you that she rejected you totally, after praying to her and begging her to help you, at least to hold your hand to prevent you from falling : see the results. Why shed so many tears for nothing. While your director was praying for you, your God came to distract you saying that tomorrow you would have a difficult trial to endure for consecrated souls.”
Friday 7 December 1984
– Mimi: “Hardly a few hours of sleep, I feel so weak! And yet, my God, I want to believe that you are present within me and in this Alliance. During the whole afternoon, I had terrible temptations against faith, against the real presence of Jesus, against charity in all shapes and forms, against faith in the sacraments. At the time of confession, unable to speak, I no longer see Jesus in his priest. I was suffering, for my enemy was near me saying :
– Satan: “If you director gives you absolution, I will be pleased for this will be one more sacrilege; this is what helps me grow in my power. For I have a proof of the helplessness of the priest, of his faith in his priesthood. This God that you implore to come to your aid, where is he, where is his glory?
“God rejects you in telling you to accept to carry the sins of consecrated souls, so, he sets you free to do what you want with your thoughts, desires, actions, etc. In doing this, he places you in my hands, for the power of evil belongs to me. I thank your director and counsellor for asking you to write your notes, for this is for me a marvellous occasion to make myself known, to show my power over a soul, especially if this soul is carrying the Alliance.”
– Mimi: During mass, I was feeling the weight of my treason, all the cowardice of my acts. I was unable to act according to my will, it was so dark. Yet, I wanted to believe that Jesus was present. Why is my faith dead in the presence of this great mystery of love? Even in reciting the prayer of total giving, there were words changed that my enemy inspired me to say. I didn’t want to, yet, I would say them anyway.
I was unable to sing the praises of the Blessed Virgin. At the request of my director, I was able to pray but I don’t remember the nature of this prayer.
Mimi: “I give thanks to God for not understanding, out of obedience, I thank you my God for the temptations.
- Thank you for not being able to sing praises to Mary,
- Thank you for this state of spiritual aridity,
- Thank you for this lack of fervor in faith and prayer,
- Thank you for my pain,
- Thank you for my crying,
- Thank you for my temptations,
- Thank you for my despair,
- Thank you for my nothingness,
- Thank you for the sufferings for consecrated souls and for your Church.
“But all I have to do is to obey your representative and continue to give thanks, continually, without knowing whether my ‘thank you’ has been heard and accepted.”
Saturday 8 December 1984
– Mimi: It is midnight, we would like to be the first ones to offer you our wishes since we are your children of the little family of the Eternal Father.
A year has already gone by when the Eternal Father chose to show us what he expected from us and also what he wished us to accept, all three of us. His Holy Will clearly manifested itself in each one of us, by total giving as priests and victims in the service of God, of the Church but especially to sustain the Holy Father John Paul II.
– Mimi: “Mother Mary, I was hoping this morning that my soul would be calm. I was hoping for a beautiful sun and a blue sky. I was hoping to have white and blue flowers to offer you on this feast day; but there was nothing of this.
- Thank you for all that I did not receive,
- Thank you for the phone call I did not receive,
- Thank you for this expectation,
- Thank you ô most Holy Father for allowing my Beloved Jesus to immolate himself once more in your dwelling,
- Thank you for giving us the occasion to offer ourselves, all three of us, as a holocaust of love, as priests and victims with Jesus, for the glory of the Eternal Father.
With my two spiritual sons, we renewed our vow of total giving. Thank you my gentle heavenly Mother for helping me renew my vows of immolation of the heart, soul and spirit.
This is the offering by immolation of the soul :
Eternal Father, my God, my all, unworthy though I am to come before your divine Majesty because of my numerous sins and of my profound misery, but confident in your infinite mercy and in the firm hope that you will grant me your grace,
I, Marie Anne Georgette Faniel, in the presence of Your Divine Son, of Mary Immaculate, of the Celestial court, of your representatives Fr. Guy and Fr. Armand Girard,
I make the vow
of immolation of the soul, heart, spirit,
of the acceptance of the agony of the soul, heart, spirit.
in union with Mary Immaculate,
in union with Your Divine Son, my Beloved,
for your greater glory,
to support our Supreme Pontiff, Pope John Paul II
for the renewal of consecrated souls
for humanity.
May God help me. Amen
– Mimi: My director, Fr. Armand accepted by giving thanks to God for this grace with a long prayer. Then, Fr. Guy, my counsellor, said prayers of praise asking God to help us accomplish the Holy Will of the Eternal Father. Finally, we recited the litany of the Blessed Virgin and the Te Deum.
We sang the Magnificat. We were so happy to sing together the praises of our gentle heavenly Mother. Many thanks to my Beloved Father for this delicateness in allowing our gentle heavenly Mother to come and gather up our offering as priests and victims.
– Mimi: “Thank you Mother Mary, you are so beautiful and so good to your little children.”
– Mary: “My dear little children, it is for me, you heavenly Mother to thank you for your love towards the Eternal Father and my Beloved Jesus with the Holy Spirit.You have filled me on this day of my Immaculate Conception.
“My dear children, spoiled and cherished, my privileged children, remain faithful to your offering of total giving as priests and victims for the glory of the Eternal Father, in order to help my blessed and privileged child of the Father, in the person of the most Holy Father John Paul II. I am carrying him continually in my Motherly arms in order to protect him from the danger that threatens him from his visible and invisible enemies. His faith and love for us protects him. My dear children, continue to sustain him with your prayers, sacrifices and affection. Remain faithful to all that he asks; you know what I mean.”
Monday 24 December 1984
– Mimi: “Thank you, ô most Holy Father for this great grace. After asking me to prepare my heart for the coming of Jesus, today you have come and graced my heart with so much love. These hours of waiting with my gentle heavenly Mother are so precious.”
Mass by Fr. Armand : what graces, what favors during this Eucharist!
– Mimi: It is in union with the Holy Father and my spiritual sons that we are preparing in prayer and silence these precious moments. What joy and gratitude are enlivening our poor hearts; mine is so cold.
– Mimi: “Ô most Holy Father, I beg you to warm my poor heart. I so wish to hold in my arms this little Jesus, your child, God the Father. I would like to give him the warmth close to my poor little heart.”
– Jesus: “My Beloved, be at peace, the warmth of your love is worth much more than human warmth. With the Alliance I have received from you, I am continually kept warm.”
